Saturday, August 18, 2007

My Inner Domestic Goddess

I've heard there is merit in doing housework, but personally I don't see the point of making beds, sweeping the floor and cleaning windows if it only has to be done again in six months' time. So, in my column this week, I started looking into which ancient goddess I could use as a domestic goddess role model. This is what I found.
  • Rhiannon didn't clean windows because, as goddess of birds, horses and licorice all sorts, she didn't want any of her birds to run into a clean window and get hurt.

  • As goddess of the home, Vesta didn't wax floors because she was terrified a guest would slip and she had no current public liability insurance.

  • The goddess behind Easter (Eostre) didn't vacuum because she actually liked dust bunnies. In fact, she liked all sorts of bunnies. They were very good company, made great chocolate eggs, and they agreed with everything she said.

  • Spider Woman didn't disturb cobwebs because all the earth's children live in her web. To clear the cobwebs would be creating rampant homelessness and that would be just plain irresponsible.

  • Demeter didn't spring-clean because she was too busy welcoming Persephone back from the Underworld. Besides, she was too busy ensuring an abundant harvest so that the world's people wouldn't starve.

  • The Roman goddess of flowers didn't pull weeds in the garden because, well, once you get used to them, some weeds' flowers are pretty.

  • Athena didn't iron because she wore what nature intended — flirty short skirts in peacetime and warrior's armor during the end-of-season sales (and other times of general warfare).

  • Love goddess Venus didn't have time for housework — she was too busy painting her nails and other general duties appropriate to her realm of beauty, sass, sunshine and love.
Which ancient goddess best reflects your inner domestic goddess?